Holding onto anger is no different than drinking poison… it sickens us physically, destroys us emotionally, is abusive to those we love and ruins relationship intimacy. The inability to forgive allows hurt and anger to control our emotions; it hurts the hard-hearted more than the subject of his wrath. There are many reasons why someone will choose to stay angry; anger itself may help them feel more “in control”, but the truth is that it’s a loss of control and by holding onto that negativity, they have become enslaved by it.
Blaming others or even circumstances keeps us in the role of victim and plummets our self-esteem as the anger tears away our confidence and replaces it with a sense of helplessness. It’s much easier to shift the responsibility for our lives (and our happiness) to others than it is to buck up and make necessary changes. There is a normal healing period for anger, but to wallow in it for extended periods of time is counterproductive to attaining the life you envision. The ability to forgive isn’t a gift for others, it’s something we give to ourselves.
RE: The question, Does he hold onto resentment and anger? Read the description to your answer below.
NO (score one point)
He may be angry, but he is likely thinking about you and how to resolve his anger. He will want to discuss the situation and look for your input on ways to overcome what caused the problem. A keeper!
It’s difficult to maintain a relationship with a negative thinker. He is thinking about you, though most likely it’s due to anger or resentment. Maybe you can do something kind for him… like suggest counseling.
Before we move onto the next topic, count the number of points from the questions you’ve already answered, then go to the next page for results.